what blog? oh, that blog.

nearly forgot about this thing. welp. today's my day off, due to my client's vomiting (the poor little one). that means i actually have time for my little neglected bloggy. it also means i need to learn the hebrew alphabet. yikes! i've been learning an incredible amount over the last couple of months since i started the holy cross fellows program. and all that goes with that: building community in ambridge, the rule of life, spiritual formation, seminary classes, working a part-time job, church-planting. oh my. the influx of information is almost more than I can handle, but it's not just an information influx, I have the opportunity to apply what I'm learning immediately. One example is, I go to a church-planting workshop on saturday, and then work at a church-plant sunday and thursday. Another example is, I have a verbatim (a discussion on how to be a better communicator/people-lover) on wednesday about how to have better conversations in the workplace and get to apply it on friday. this is the best way to learn. the git-r-done approach or as they say about the holy cross fellows: launch as you train, not train before you launch.

this program is not all talk and i love it.

in other news, i've been confirmed in the anglican church. so i'd like to add a little prayer here for the mission of the church:

Everliving God, whose will it is that all should come to you through your Son Jesus Christ: Inspire our witness to him, that all may know the power of his forgiveness and the hope of his resurrection, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one god, now and for ever. Amen.

sell outs

I’d like to point out that some of my favorite songs have been used in commercials lately.

My first reaction is to denounce these artists as selling out to the man (maybe I’ve been reading too much adbusters), but really, I’m just happy that their music is being shared…too bad there’s no credit given to the artists in the commercials.

But here’s a couple.

Nick Drake for AT&T


Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros for Ford


Le Loup for Blackberry

finally, something blog worthy

welp. i've been reading kurt vonnegut again. specifically "player piano" which is less stream of conciousness and more story-like than much of his other books. i like it. anyway here's a quote that destroyed my soul:

Anita had the mechanics of marriage down pat, even to the subtlest conventions. If her approach was disturbingly rational, systematic, she was thorough enough to turn out a creditable counterfeit of warmth. Paul could only suspect that her feelings were shallow-and perhaps that suspicion was part of what he was beginning to think of as his sickness.

i'm just like paul. as of late anyway. i've almost become too introspective. not only of myself, but of everyone else. i question everyone's motives. i question how honest i am being with myself and trust no one. maintaining friendships has become increasingly difficult. like paul i am suspicious of kindness.

perhaps this sinister seed was planted when i did research on cognitive dissonance in undergrad. the phenomenon of cognitive dissonance tells us that we will lie to ourselves, because we can't handle being wrong. even when presented with evidence that we are wrong we will swear on a bible and be convinced of our fallacy's veracity til the day we die. none of us can be trusted. our minds will play with us, but i seem to be under the delusion that i can master the mind. figure out all of it's tricks and become the first to be truly and supurbly genuine. but i'm realizing it's not possible, it's just a sickness.

okay so there was this question on my application for holy cross fellows and then i realized that i probably answeredd it all wrong, but this is what i wrote, and i felt like i had to put it somewhere. here it is:

I believe that God gives us both special revelation (the Bible) and general revelation (things we can learn from nature, history, observation, experience, and science). As they say, all truth is God’s truth. Anything we may see as Truth should be tested by looking at both special and general revelation. We should accept the Bible as authority and God’s word, but not by any one person’s interpretation. I feel that interpretation can be flawed as we are sinful. Biblical interpretation should be done prayerfully and tested by other believers and by what we see as given in general revelation. If what we see in nature is different from our interpretation of the Bible...maybe there was a misinterpretation and we should re-evaluate what the Scriptures are saying.

lists

the easiest way to keep up this blog is going to have to be lists since computer access is limited, but i still wish to keep things current here.

things i like right now: confessing, anticipating a large paycheck, quirky children, sitting outside in sunshine, bonfires, eating dinner in courses, finding fresh onions and garlic in my backyard, relationship theories, reading Ignatius' writings right before he was eaten by leopards in the colosseum whilst i sit on my porch, people praying for each other (it really makes all the difference in life), the white stripes, and holy week.

things i don't like right now: colombia gas, the fact that i own way too much crap, select sleazy neighbors, paying for gas, PAPERWORK, whoever keeps dumping trash on my front lawn, and too many dishes on the drying rack.

lack of a computer...

...means a lack of posts.

but here's a short list of some things that i have been learning to love recently:

snowball fights, frankness, compline, western asceticism, poetry readings, out-of-towners, loony tunes, a nice snow walk, and that beer i tried that tastes just like fruity pebbles

some things i've been hating lately:

money orders, vehicles stuck in snow, training videos, drinking games, orchestrating events over the phone, and judgmental people.

hope for a tree

i think the phase of disillusionment i've been going through is finally over. today i put the nail in the coffin. my pessimism is dead and forgotten. now i cling to hope. reading revelation at college hill anglican fellowship today is really what did it. Revelation 21 says:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment.

rev. mike talked about hope, a message i certainly needed to hear. how could i possibly be pessimistic after a sermon like that? i can't wait for the kingdom of God to come in it's fullness, and i love that God is using me in the process...that i get to be part of it all.

job 14:7 says, "At least there is hope for a tree: If it is cut down, it will sprout again, and it's new shoots will not fail."