just tryin' to look good

i'm thinking a lot about beauty lately. what it really means to be beautiful in God's eyes. we seem to try so hard to look good, but at the end of the day do we really? do we look beautiful to the people who matter? to God and those who share His vision? i was looking at some photo's on magnum's site and came across this one:


i think this photo portrays well all of the effort that goes into looking good when you just end up looking ridiculous and paying insane amounts of money on a crazy dress that doesn't fit, is uncomfortable, you will never wear it again, and you'll just get a stain on it anyway (it is only temporary).

the definition of beauty has become something that i am re-evaluating daily. will shaving my legs, wearing makeup, and buying "nice" clothes really make me happy? or am i just buying into the lie. the lie that i have to buy these products to feel good about myself...to be presentable...to be legitimate or professional...to attract the opposite sex (this is a big one). advertisements for products claim to provide these things, but God can fill the wholes that products can't.

truthfully, i may buy into these lies more than i'd like to think that i do.

i <3 bf

i am truly embracing my new life in beaver falls. there are some great people here, and i'm having some very unique experiences that would only happen here in this defunct steel town. here is a list of the things i love about my new hometown:

-everyone here hangs out on their porch. i actually have the opportunity to meet my neighbors.

-things are in walking distance: oram's donuts, china wok, salvation army (a.k.a. my fab job), the geneva library, athens greek food, the carnegie library, the post office, and of course my beloved bfcat. who needs a car?!?

-eating dinners with people. sunday dinners with the city house crew, and making rice and beans with cait! food sharing is one of my favorite things.

-being near the train and the river

-the closeness of pittsburgh, so many fun things there!

-watching polo in darlington. where else in the world does this happen?!?

-being in close proximity to the college. also, being surrounded with people who like to talk about liberal-artsy things.

-my awesome house.

-wing night. i am truly embracing western, pa. yes yinzers, wing night is a western pa thing. i also say "pop" instead of "soda" now. it wasn't intentional...it just happened.

loving life.
pray i keep on top of things and get a steady job.

appropriately enough - the song i'm loving right now is called "home" by edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros (thanks for telling me about them ash!)

what i ponder on my day off

the lies of the world are exposed. i see them in every crevice of this sinful place. although there is much beauty to be found here, it is evident that something has gone horribly awry. the more i learn about the God who created this place – who He is and what He intended - the more i realize just how terrible things are. this is certainly not what His kingdom should look like.

how can we be expected to live out a righteous life in this setting? i suppose Christ did it. but for me this is impossible. the world does not permit me to live righteously. everything is just too messed up.

now i talk as if i’m some sort of victim. as if my sin doesn’t affect the state of the world. i cause this problem. my own lies.

i look around me and i see a world that is broken – but hopeful. waiting for the redemption that only God can bring to His creation.

My God - expose the lies daily, replace them with Truth. i will live in anticipation of Your coming. i know it is impossible to live as You ask – to be the servant of all – but i will try, and strive to know Truth rather than buy into the lies of satan and the temptations of sin.

kingdom ethics

Jesus words continually blow my mind:

blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
blessed are those who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.
blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.
blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be filled
blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.
blessed are the pure in heart,
for they shall see God.
blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called Sons of God.
blessed are those who are persecuted for rightousness sake,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.


God help me try to live this in a sinful world.