i am an old maid

Well, I must say being at Geneva, I have kind of been made to feel like I am an old maid already because it is my senior year of college and I am not in a serious relationship that is on the brink of marriage. And apparently, according to an article I had to read for my Psychology of Gender class, "...men make positive gains after marrying, while all types of singles...experience accumulating declines over time"(VanLeeuwen). Great. The longer I am single it seems, the more likely I will be to experience an array of unpleasant side-effects caused by lonliness (ex//depression, lack of purpose, etc.). On top of this, it is my own personal suspicion that this effect would be worse for women because of thier tendency to be more social (whether that is because of biology or it has been socially constructed). All of the sudden I find myself on the lookout for any guy willing to give me a shot so that I can save myself from this imminent doom.

Despite this imminent doom, I was able to glean a bit of comfort from the author of the article I read (VanLeeuwen is the author. She is a really great psychologist I've been learning a lot from, don't neccessarily agree with everything, but I am learning a lot). In this piece she states, "Marriage is neither an essential nor a superior state for the realization of Christian maturity and service"(VanLeeuwen). That sure is a relief. After all, a single life is actually more encouraged in the Bible over marriage. See 1 Corinthians 7. So why is there so much pressure to enter into this institution amongst Christians? Although I see the value in marriage, I cannot help thinking that marriage is not the only kind of Biblical institution that can create the kind of benefits that marriage creates. I think that even more than marriage, God created us for community.

I can really see how people might become depressed if they remain single. It has been difficult for me, as of late, to see my friends all being married off. In the past it has been easy to be single, because there is always a friend available to be with. As more and more of my friends get married, thier priorities will be different, which is okay, but it might leave me with a feeling of lonliness as my number of available friends decreases. I believe that God created Christians to live in a community, married or unmarried. Single Christians should not feel the burden of loneliness if they are surrounded by a healthy Church community. It simply should not happen.