senioritis

i never thought that i would be one to get senioritis. i have always loved being a student, and being a younglife leader. but this semester, i find myself not caring about much. i want to be done. i feel tired, and i feel as though my position in life is a burden. i feel as though i have been doing this for years and i just need a break.

but really, i'm sad that i feel this way. school and younglife are two things that i have always been really passionate about. now i just feel lethargic about all aspects of my life. even the future, i don't feel as though i have much to look forward to because i'm not excited about anything, there's almost no motivation to go on. i think of the jars of clay song that i mentioned in a previous blog. their song entitled work says, "i don't have a line of prospects that can bring some kind of peace, there is nothing left to cling to that can bring me sweet release, i have no fear of drowning, it's the breathing that's taking all this work". work. it is just that. the physics definition of doing work is exerting force (or something like that, right rob?). i don't feel like exerting myself. i don't feel like doing work.

i suppose i should remind myself that work is a good thing. there are a couple of scriptures to reference that i think will help me to remember that work is good. Genesis 2:15 says, "Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it". and there you have it. from the very beginning God had in mind for us to do work. it is not part of the curse of sin, as some people think. the truth is that humans were created to do work. God's work specifically, the work of redemption. also, work is a way to bring glory to God. the scriptures often say things like, "...whatever you do, do to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31).

all this being said, i have come to the conclusion that senioritis is simply not acceptable. if i want all the things i do to be for the glory of God, i should put all of my effort into it. i know God has called me to be both a student and a younglife leader, why wouldn't i put my whole heart into doing my best at both for God's glory?

my friend leslie brought up the topic of prayer at younglife leadership this week, and i realized that the only way out of my current apathetic predicament is to pray. i want God to "light the fire again", if you will. for the rest of this semester i'm sure i will find myself praying for passion to do His work. your prayers would be appreciated as well. thanks friends.